Written in January 2021:
Decisions, decisions…
Big news over here: Since my employer is offering it to me, I got part 1 of the COVID vaccine yesterday, after much deliberation, research, and agonizing. Why the delay? Why the debate?, you ask. Well, in addition to being a health care provider, I am also 24 weeks pregnant. So of course, the vaccine has not been tested on pregnant women, and official channels recommend discussion with OBs and joint decision making based on the risks of each individual pregnant woman. I work in outpatient physical therapy, and while the people who come see me are not sick or symptomatic, I do get close to them, and they are strangers – they could be anybody.
My OB’s advice was basically that the decision was up to me, that if I were working in a more risky area of healthcare (ICU, Urgent Care, Emergency Care, etc) he would advise me to absolutely get the vaccine. But, he said, if you are worried about getting COVID, you can get the vaccine. His assessment, along with the assessment of all experts who have spoken on the topic, is that the mRNA vaccine is very unlikely to cause any ill effects on me or the baby.
Am I that worried about getting COVID? Well, I wasn’t – I was feeling very comfortable in my work environment, a single office where I am the only treating therapist when I am there, with use of a large, sparsely used and frequently cleaned rec center gym. But once the vaccine was offered to me, I began to worry – what if, even with the PPE, I did get COVID? As a pregnant person, I am more likely to have complications.
A friend and I were talking earlier this week about how no matter what decision you make during this pandemic, you don’t know if it’s the best one. Do you send your kids to school, or keep them home? Do I work, preserving my sanity, or do I not work, eliminating the risk? Do I get the vaccine and assume the risks of that action, or skip it and risk getting COVID?
Well, I have made my decision, and I do feel relieved, so I guess it was the right one.
*****
March 2021
Vaccinated Life
You’d think it would be a huge relief to be vaccinated. But now that I am fully vaccinated, I get to stress about everyone else who still needs to get vaccinated. Family members and loved ones (even those who are over 65) are still waiting, and feeling frustrated with the process. Brian is not vaccinated, and it’s not likely he’ll qualify until it’s available to anyone and everyone. Since I am vaccinated, I do feel ok about working around the general public, however, now there are variants. What if I contract a freaky variant and bring it home to my family? There are no absolutes, nothing is definite. Weeks ago it felt like working posed only a small risk since I am fully vaccinated, but is that still the case? I love getting out of the house, being around other adults, and feeling like I am contributing, but is it even worth it?
How do we now make decisions about getting together – with vaccinated grandparents, vaccinated friends, and my un-vaccinated family? It’s still complicated. The decisions still make me feel uneasy.
I will say that after agonizing over the decision of whether to get vaccinated as a pregnant person, I am very glad that I did it. I had no side effects (at least nothing that was distinguishable from ordinary pregnancy discomforts) and my baby boy is growing and moving and seems strong as ever. My OB recently told me about a study where COVID antibodies were found in the cord blood of babies born to mothers who had been infected, so it’s likely the baby will get some of mine too. Forward we go, with hope, hanging on to our optimism.
❤
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